[Humour] Joke Du Jour

B

Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

NSC Patron

Jul 6, 2003

19,788

• Yesterday at 7:04 AM

• #1

[As it's Halloween I thought I'd bring this old joke back from the grave ...]


I'm going to a Halloween fancy dress party tonight, and I thought I'd go as Count Dracula. So I went to the Novelty Shop and asked the girl for a Dracula outfit. She rummaged around the back, and then presented me with a Crystal Palace shirt, plus shorts and socks.
"No, no" I said, "I think you mis-heard me. I said I wanted to look like a Count."

 

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!

Jul 7, 2003

7,089

Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!

• Yesterday at 8:57 AM

• #2

Was it this season's shirt or an old one? If it was an older one, it could have fetched a tidy sum on Ebay. You may have looked a gift horse in the mouth?

 

Jesus Gul

Well-known member

Feb 23, 2004

5,506

• Yesterday at 9:00 AM

• #3

 

Frutos

.

Helpful Moderator

NSC Patron

May 3, 2006

36,232

Northumberland

• Yesterday at 9:55 AM

• #4

They recently set up a university for hippopotami.

While most students will study on satellite sites, the neurology students will study on the main hippocampus.

 

jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage

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Oct 17, 2008

14,039

• Yesterday at 1:06 PM

• #5

Jack Straw said:

Was it this season's shirt or an old one? If it was an older one, it could have fetched a tidy sum on Ebay. You may have looked a gift horse in the mouth?

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Presumably it was a rental, so he’d have to return it anyway.

 

Jack Straw

I look nothing like him!

Jul 7, 2003

7,089

Brighton. NOT KEMPTOWN!

• Yesterday at 5:01 PM

• #6

jcdenton08 said:

Presumably it was a rental, so he’d have to return it anyway.

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We need to ask the OP where he went, to see if they actually sell them or just rent them out. It would have been immensely helpful if we knew where he went.

 

el punal

Well-known member

Aug 29, 2012

12,462

The dull part of the south coast

• Yesterday at 5:16 PM

• #7

Jesus Gul said:

View attachment 191540

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Jeez! That’s bad enough to burst my pumpkin!

 

CheeseRolls

Well-known member

NSC Patron

Jan 27, 2009

6,192

Shoreham Beach

• Yesterday at 8:32 PM

• #8

Brovion said:

[As it's Halloween I thought I'd bring this old joke back from the grave ...]


I'm going to a Halloween fancy dress party tonight, and I thought I'd go as Count Dracula. So I went to the Novelty Shop and asked the girl for a Dracula outfit. She rummaged around the back, and then presented me with a Crystal Palace shirt, plus shorts and socks.
"No, no" I said, "I think you mis-heard me. I said I wanted to look like a Count."

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No you didn't you asked her for a Dracula outfit, you most definetly did not tell her you wanted to look like a count, you said as much in your first sentence. Least convincing liar ever !

 

hart's shirt

Well-known member

Jul 8, 2003

10,990

Kitbag in Dubai

• Yesterday at 8:39 PM

• #9

Brovion said:

I'm going to a Halloween fancy dress party tonight, and I thought I'd go as Count Dracula. So I went to the Novelty Shop and asked the girl for a Dracula outfit. She rummaged around the back, and then presented me with a Crystal Palace shirt, plus shorts and socks.
"No, no" I said, "I think you mis-heard me. I said I wanted to look like a Count."

Click to expand...

How's the party going?

 

jcdenton08

Offended Liver Sausage

NSC Patron

Oct 17, 2008

14,039

• Yesterday at 9:04 PM

• #10

hart's shirt said:

How's the party going?

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Probably didn’t go as couldn’t get the outfit. A sad story all round.

 

Winker

CUM ON FEEL THE NOIZE

Jul 14, 2008

2,517

The Astral Planes, man...

• Yesterday at 9:11 PM

• #11

Jack Straw said:

We need to ask the OP where he went, to see if they actually sell them or just rent them out. It would have been immensely helpful if we knew where he went.

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If she was rummaging around the back she could have been outside looking through the bins, so more likely to find the kit.

 

B

Bodian

Well-known member

May 3, 2012

13,979

Cumbria

• Yesterday at 10:16 PM

• #12

Why would a novelty shop have a Crystal Palace kit? What's funny about Crystal Palace??

 

lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969

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Jun 11, 2011

14,021

Worthing

• Yesterday at 10:43 PM

• #13

I had trick or treaters round tonight.

One knocked on my door dressed as a zombie Gloria Gaynor.

Well, at first I was afraid, I was petrified.

 

B

Bodian

Well-known member

May 3, 2012

13,979

Cumbria

• Yesterday at 10:45 PM

• #14

lawros left foot said:

I had trick or treaters round tonight.

One knocked on my door dressed as a zombie Gloria Gaynor.

Well, at first I was afraid, I was petrified.

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Don't worry - you'll survive.