ROSM
Well-known member
I got my football coaching badges starting at 46. It's made me see football in a totally different light afterwards (a bit like when I did my ref quals at a younger age).
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[Misc] Is having kids more hassle than it's worth?
- Thread starter Mustafa II
- Start date
- Jul 10, 2003
- 28,987
If you're finding that spending nights out shouting at people in pubs/clubs doesn't hold the allure it once did, then maybe.
When I was young I never wanted kids, far too selfish (not a bad thing as explained above) and immature and would have been dreadful with that sort of responsibility. The fact was that I wasn't that bothered and then I when actually ended up having a couple it was the biggest shock I have ever experienced (and not just the conception/birth).
For the first time, I understood what 300,000 years of evolution had made me into. And how the last couple of thousand years of civilisation, or the last few decades of high speed development had absolutely no impact on it. It generates feelings deeper than I have ever experienced.
But they can be real little bastards sometimes (although not so much in the last 10 years since they turned 20ish)
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Good age to have kids, that.
You’ve enjoyed the fruits of non-kid life but still have energy.
Plus you‘re not past it when they fly the nest.
pb21
Well-known member
- Apr 23, 2010
- 6,972
Agree with this.
We had our first a couple of years ago, he was born when I was 40. A couple of years later I wish I was a couple of years younger.
Thinking I will feel I that I was 10 years younger in a couple more years...
And, in respect of the general theme, I wasn't sure I wanted children or not, I did but was also somewhat ambivalent, I think that's fairly common with males? Now he's nearly 2, i/we have absolutely no regrets, the complete opposite, he's the best thing ever.
A batch of 3 (now aged 29-34), followed by a (now) 2 year old and a (roughly) -1 year old (if we’re lucky).
Two different mums.
It’s very different second time around. In some ways worse (I’m nowhere near as fit as I was, so running around with her is harder), but in most ways better - I’m a much more relaxed and knowledgeable Dad, so am easier for her to deal with.
She’s a sweetheart.
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
I spent 42 years burying emotions or fighting my earnest to avoid them, and then had my son. It was agonising having to feel something, and is impossibly stressful to be bludgeoned by those despairing and loving senses.
But you have to be occasionally proud of what you've attempted to do, imperfectly, as time goes.
On Sunday I stood in a queue for 1 hour to get to the front of the face-painting line. It was horribly boring. And I spent 44 of those minutes holding a small scooter to mark the place behind me of a woman I had never met before, who didn't want to just stand there in the bland chill as I did. It was non-heroic, and I gently begrudged it, but I had a job to do, and did it. I even fought off a 4 year old girl from jumping spots. Take that, witchling! So pride can be had. And my almost 8 year old left the shindig with a chick averagely painted on his cheek.
But you have to be occasionally proud of what you've attempted to do, imperfectly, as time goes.
On Sunday I stood in a queue for 1 hour to get to the front of the face-painting line. It was horribly boring. And I spent 44 of those minutes holding a small scooter to mark the place behind me of a woman I had never met before, who didn't want to just stand there in the bland chill as I did. It was non-heroic, and I gently begrudged it, but I had a job to do, and did it. I even fought off a 4 year old girl from jumping spots. Take that, witchling! So pride can be had. And my almost 8 year old left the shindig with a chick averagely painted on his cheek.
What I’d say is fair play to any of you that have had kids at 35+. I’m 27 and my little one is 3, so by the time we’ve had another one or two (hopefully) we will do all of our travelling etc in our 40’s. Being a parent is the best thing in the world even if exhausting, that why I could never do it at 35+!
Had no trouble ‘giving up’ my twenties, as others seem to have alluded to. It got me off the drink, drugs and wasting money and now every second I have spare is spent with my boy. Just been to Wild Park and kicked a ball around for an hour what could be better as a dad seeing him start to love football?
Agree with all above posts, if you feel you need to get something back from your kids, or that they’re a hassle, please don’t bother.
Had no trouble ‘giving up’ my twenties, as others seem to have alluded to. It got me off the drink, drugs and wasting money and now every second I have spare is spent with my boy. Just been to Wild Park and kicked a ball around for an hour what could be better as a dad seeing him start to love football?
Agree with all above posts, if you feel you need to get something back from your kids, or that they’re a hassle, please don’t bother.
Sorrel
Well-known member
It's different each decade and won't ever stop... first ten years is great. Second decade has its share of problems and in practice the 3rd decade has a whole new set of events, too. I've not been trying to help my children sort out problems for at least 48 hours now, so we're doing quite well this week.
It takes effort and as BLOCK F says above, it doesn't always work as well as you'd wish. But not having children would be missing out on a huge part of human experience and I think it would be strange to want to miss out on that.
It takes effort and as BLOCK F says above, it doesn't always work as well as you'd wish. But not having children would be missing out on a huge part of human experience and I think it would be strange to want to miss out on that.
Yep. Choosing to not have kids is opting to miss out on a powerful and rich human experience.
A small example. I’ve just been outside gardening with my 4yo son - potting plants, digging, watering.
Insanely mundane in one sense, deeply fulfilling in another.
This is not to say it’s the only worthwhile experience though. There’s a lot to be said for living for yourself, nights out , travelling the world, sleeping around etc. I guess the dream ticket is to have a good taste of both extremes.
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albion534
Well-known member
I’m 36, have a 13 year old and 3 year old, wife wants 1 more, I’m not so keen on that