[Misc] Is having kids more hassle than it's worth?

[Cotton Socks]

I consider myself to have been very lucky with my kids. They are both so unlike me & their other parent in the fact that they have both (so far) made sensible life choices that I wonder if they are actually my children.

Sleepless nights, a constant permanent worry about everything they do. Have they brushed their teeth properly, have they had enough veg & fruit. Why has Nan been such a cow and fed them s**t loads of choc. Where are they, who are they with, when do I start to panic that they're not home at the time I'd thought they'd be. What GCSE's should they take, why won't they realise that GCSEs are more important than the Xbox and revise? Holy crap, they want to get behind the wheel of a car!!! The list is relentless & endless, but I'd not change it for anything.

I absolutely love the quality time I spend with them, that's probably why when we go to a match together I enjoy it, even if we lose. All the above fades into oblivion when you have special memories with your kids. Doesn't need to be something that costs money, one of my funniest memories is of my eldest getting stuck in the mud & not being able to get out without taking his shoe off. Countless other little things that make me smile over the years on reflection. I confess to never being a fan of the 'artwork' I've had to pin up though.

They are an expensive 'life sentence' (as you put it), with no guarantees. I'm not sure of your theory that you obtain a sense of self worth from having kids, in my experience you just stop worrying about yourself! They can however give a lot 'back' when they're not being sick down your back at 7 weeks & sick in the toilet at 15 through alcohol!

 

[peterward]

I don't mean to be rude but, judging by that post, parenthood very much isn't for you.

Me? Very much worth the 'hassle' and I wouldn't change it for anything. Mrs Bobkin and the Bobkin Jnrs are my absolute world. Yes, of course it's hard work, but they are amazing human beings who bring me joy every single day.

This.

It's hard, it can be a pressure cooker, they will push boundaries, they will wind you up, but it's equally amazing, rewarding with and a lot of fun, joy and pride in your little'uns.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

The first thirty years is the worst, after that it's all down hill
They are a pain in the arse, but I wouldn't change it for the world

 

[MJsGhost]

Maybe I should answer another time...

My 4yo puked all over herself, her bed and me earlier. She the puked all over our bed, me again and the fresh PJs she had on.
She then puked all over the bathroom, herself again and me again.

She is currently curled up beside me in our bed, smelling of vomit. To be honest, I suspect I smell of vomit too.

I think she's empty, so the fresh sheets on our bed should be safe (though will still need a wash tomorrow).

Oh, and the 2yo was disturbed by the kerfuffle, so he is also in our bed.

What was the question again?

 

[Bry Nylon]

one of my funniest memories is of my eldest getting stuck in the mud & not being able to get out without taking his shoe off.

I’m a single dad of two and a few years ago I was dating quite a posh (but very sweary) single mum from a leafy part of Hertfordshire who claimed the other mums at her son’s school looked down on her as she was the only unmarried one among them. Which I told her, of course, was nonsense.

One fateful evening not long after, she went to collect her 6-year old son from a birthday party at some huge house and was stood making small talk with the other waiting mothers in the hallway.

After a few minutes she called up the stairs to her son that she was waiting. No response. A few minutes later she called again. “Harry - it’s mummy. It’s time to go sweetheart.”

Another moments silence, before from somewhere unseen on the landing above came the piercing response, “In a minute! I’m trying to find my f***ing shoes.”

So when it comes to children, all I’d say is - Who wants to miss golden moments like that?

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Children are but chapters in your life. My younger daughter has just turned 30!! Where did those years go?

Anyways, they're an investment. Need a lift to/from the pub? Ultimately, you'll need someone to help you move into a nursing home and push you around in your wheelchair ....

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Until fairly recently, I have always wanted children... Until my friends started having them, anyway.

Turns out they're just annoying younger people you need to keep around a lot of the time, and are very expensive. They're very time consuming, quite stressful... or very stressful. A lot of hard-work, while giving very little back.

I have seen there are some benefits - such as pride, entertainment and a new self-worth that emerges through parenthood.

But overall, having children seems like a bit of a life-sentence, starting from the day they are born... with no guarantee that they will grow into decent, loving people that will repay what you have invested in them. In fact it seems very rare that they ever do.

Is it better to just live your life, rather than reproducing little versions of yourself that effectively ruin your life as you know it?

Until fairly recently, I have always wanted children... Until my friends started having them, anyway.

Turns out they're just annoying younger people you need to keep around a lot of the time, and are very expensive. They're very time consuming, quite stressful... or very stressful. A lot of hard-work, while giving very little back.

I have seen there are some benefits - such as pride, entertainment and a new self-worth that emerges through parenthood.

But overall, having children seems like a bit of a life-sentence, starting from the day they are born... with no guarantee that they will grow into decent, loving people that will repay what you have invested in them. In fact it seems very rare that they ever do.

Is it better to just live your life, rather than reproducing little versions of yourself that effectively ruin your life as you know it?

I wouldn't worry - you need to find someone prepared to sleep with you first.

 

[Chicken Run]

Until fairly recently, I have always wanted children... Until my friends started having them, anyway.

Turns out they're just annoying younger people you need to keep around a lot of the time, and are very expensive. They're very time consuming, quite stressful... or very stressful. A lot of hard-work, while giving very little back.

I have seen there are some benefits - such as pride, entertainment and a new self-worth that emerges through parenthood.

But overall, having children seems like a bit of a life-sentence, starting from the day they are born... with no guarantee that they will grow into decent, loving people that will repay what you have invested in them. In fact it seems very rare that they ever do.

Is it better to just live your life, rather than reproducing little versions of yourself that effectively ruin your life as you know it?

When my kids were young and i’d drop them off to my parents for a long weekend break away i couldn’t be more thrilled at the prospect of time away, fast forward 30 years and im now dropping my dog off to my in-laws i miss that mutt soo much i want to head back early to get her.

Interesting that over the weekend my three were round for a family gathering, two boys 25 & 30 and daughter 21, all said that they don’t have interest in having kids

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Best thing I've ever done. Not regretted having my two (16 and 14 now) for a single moment of their lives. Having children is something undescribable

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

It’s not something that I have ever given any thought to, or has ever interested me. I’m sure it’s an enjoyable experience but not for me.

 

[DJ NOBO]

More and more 30 and 40 somethings seem to be reasoning their way out of having children these days.
Too expensive, too much hassle, impact on career, what kind of world would I be bringing them into….etc.
All valid points but it’s still well worth having kids. Eventhough they can be a right pita.

 

[bennibenj]

Absolutely love being a dad... Seeing them grow and become decent people is very rewarding...

The added bonus that both my son and my daughter have followed in my footsteps - of being able to piss the Mrs off at any given opportunity, is fantastic.

 

[dazzer6666]

After 31/27 years wouldn’t change a thing. Had some ‘downs’ of course, including some significant ones, but that’s life.

 

[dwayne]

More and more 30 and 40 somethings seem to be reasoning their way out of having children these days.
Too expensive, too much hassle, impact on career, what kind of world would I be bringing them into….etc.
All valid points but its still well worth having kids.

For some yes. For me no.

I have lots of lovely nieces and nephews. I don't feel the need to have my own child.

At the moment I get up when I want. Go out when I want. Go abroad at least once a month. (I have 3 separate Ibiza trips this summer). Go out for a nice meal at least once a week. Watch footy whenever I want. Lie ins..... I love lie ins.

When I look at all the miserable blokes at work who haven't slept for months. Wife doesn't have sex with them anymore. Wife has let herself go , man has let himself go.......Or the level of pure unadulterated excitement when they get let out for work drinks or the holy grail a trip abroad with work, I know I'm not missing out......

 

[DJ NOBO]

For some yes. For me no.

I have lots of lovely nieces and nephews. I don't feel the need to have my own child.

At the moment I get up when I want. Go out when I want. Go abroad at least once a month. (I have 3 separate Ibiza trips this summer). Go out for a nice meal at least once a week. Watch footy whenever I want. Lie ins..... I love lie ins.

When I look at all the miserable blokes at work who haven't slept for months. Wife doesn't have sex with them anymore. Wife has let herself go , man has let himself go.......Or the level of pure unadulterated excitement when they get let out for work drinks or the holy grail a trip abroad with work, I know I'm not missing out......

So who’s going to keep Jack Hinshelwood’s lad in check?

 

[Comrade Sam]

Watching the Albion with my daughters resplendent in Blue and white, waving Brighton flags - who could be prouder. Easily the best thing I've ever done was becoming a father. Although I'm not sure about having boys - when do they stop bouncing?

 

[stewart12]

I remember one time I was helping my son get ready in the morning. He then proceeded to projectile shit all over the kitchen floor. A seriously unbelievable amount of shit for someone that size. He then slipped on the shit meaning he himself was then covered in it and basically couldn't move without covering himself in more shit.

I just stood there in utter disbelief at what my life had become.

It wasn't the best start to his 15th birthday



In all seriousness it's the best thing I've ever done. My son is my favourite person in the world and I'm so proud of him. But I don't think parenthood is for everyone and if you're going into it worrying about it being a "hassle" I would seriously consider whether it's really for you. Because yes, it is a hassle and you probably won't sleep properly for at least 18 years.

 

[DJ NOBO]

For some yes. For me no.

I have lots of lovely nieces and nephews. I don't feel the need to have my own child.

At the moment I get up when I want. Go out when I want. Go abroad at least once a month. (I have 3 separate Ibiza trips this summer). Go out for a nice meal at least once a week. Watch footy whenever I want. Lie ins..... I love lie ins.

When I look at all the miserable blokes at work who haven't slept for months. Wife doesn't have sex with them anymore. Wife has let herself go , man has let himself go.......Or the level of pure unadulterated excitement when they get let out for work drinks or the holy grail a trip abroad with work, I know I'm not missing out......

Guessing you’re in your 30s ? There is a lot to be said for living for yourself in your 20s and 30s. After a marriage mistake in my 20s, for better or worse I pursued a lifestyle in my late 20s / early 30s that I’d always wanted to. It was selfish but very pleased I have the memories and the old cliche, get it out of my system.
That lifestyle wouldn’t have looked so pretty in my 40s and now 50s though. You never know, maybe you’ll have a rethink as you get older. Not all dads are miserable.It’s what you make it.

 

[Bring back Bryan wade!!]

If people stop having kids then we are screwed as a population! That said…

I always wanted kids and love it. It is very hard at times but very rewarding at others. It has given me emotional highs and lows that are different to anything I had from my own existence. I don’t like the constant worrying and knowing they will be doing crap they should not - especially some of the stuff that happens with tech (which was not a thing when I was a kid), but the good times are great.

They do however cost me lots. They take over my life to the extent that I will be needing new hobbies in the next few years.

My kids are 16 year old lad who is bright but simply doesn’t put in the work. Wants to be a pro golfer but again doesn’t put in the work. And I have 14 year old twin daughters who are currently causing me all sorts of grief. Looking forward to them coming out the other side.

I would recommend to people that if you want have kids then have them and enjoy it. But if you are not sure then they are a huge commitment and take over your life so think very hard about it. If people don’t have kids then I don’t want them moaning about too many immigrants in 20 years!

As the father of 3 girls I would describe that as a wholly accurate summary.

 

[Oh_aye]

Ultimately, that garden isn't going to mow itself, is it mate.