[Misc] Is having kids more hassle than it's worth?

[Curious Orange]

Guessing you’re in your 30s ?

And the rest! @dwayne has been posting on NSC longer than you have!

 

[Bring back Bryan wade!!]

Don’t think it’s as black & white as answering a poll. It’s definitely not a one size fits all position.

 

[Biscuit]

It's both incredibly hard, and incredibly joyful.

It has it's challenges. Every aspect of your life will change. You will have a lot less money, a lot less time and a lot more worry. Your house will never be tidy, you will have to make huge sacrifices and give up things you enjoy.. I've encountered all these things, and still wouldn't change a thing.

I don't know where I'd be without my little ones. Genuinely the reason I get out of bed every day. My two girls are 7 and 8 now, and they worship me. We go on walks (adventures) and I read to them all the time. I think I enjoy it more than they do.

Little things like going to the shop to buy milk is so much more enjoyable when they're with me. They bring magic to the most mundane things. They're perfect.

It's down to the individual, of course. The above is just my experience.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

There’s also the environmental consideration.

Having a child is the grandest act of climate destruction

About four years ago, my wife and I, who are both in our thirties, briefly thought we were having a baby. For the next few nights my dreams were of nuclear flashes lighting up the sky, of the earth cracking open and of waves lapping at the front door. Humans are swiftly making the planet

www.spectator.co.uk

 

[dwayne]

Guessing you’re in your 30s ? There is a lot to be said for living for yourself in your 20s and 30s. After a marriage mistake in my 20s, for better or worse I pursued a lifestyle in my late 20s / early 30s that I’d always wanted to. It was selfish but very pleased I have the memories and the old cliche, get it out of my system.
That lifestyle wouldn’t have looked so pretty in my 40s and now 50s though. You never know, maybe you’ll have a rethink as you get older. Not all dads are miserable.It’s what you make it.

Not sure about the selfish point? Selfish for what reason? Surely it's better to make yourself happy and be happy. Also , the country and world is overpopulated.... Global warming is hitting , decent jobs are diminishing, it's not a great time to bring a child into the world.

I'm in my 40s and wake up happy pretty much every day. The thing that stresses me out the most is probably Brighton and hove Albion !!

 

[RandyWanger]

Having children is life changing, but in a good way. Only do if it you're 100% sure about the person you're with and 100% sure you can handle it.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

I’m a single dad of two and a few years ago I was dating quite a posh (but very sweary) single mum from a leafy part of Hertfordshire who claimed the other mums at her son’s school looked down on her as she was the only unmarried one among them. Which I told her, of course, was nonsense.

One fateful evening not long after, she went to collect her 6-year old son from a birthday party at some huge house and was stood making small talk with the other waiting mothers in the hallway.

After a few minutes she called up the stairs to her son that she was waiting. No response. A few minutes later she called again. “Harry - it’s mummy. It’s time to go sweetheart.”

Another moments silence, before from somewhere unseen on the landing above came the piercing response, “In a minute! I’m trying to find my f***ing shoes.”

So when it comes to children, all I’d say is - Who wants to miss golden moments like that?

Fantastic, that's really given me the giggles.

 

[Molango's visa]

Stupid thread. What next? Football, life affirming and joyous, or a rubbish waste of time? Eating nice food, one of life's pleasures is too much bother? Sexual intercourse, count me in (geddit? ) or rather too messy for my liking?

 

[Perfidious Albion]

We have no children and are now an older couple both facing health issues. I have often felt that we missed out on something. One should not look at it selfishly but it would be great to have an able bodied son who would come around and help out with things .
A friend from my single days who now had a child told me that parenthood was 90% stress and 10 %joy but the 10% more than made up for the 90%.

 

[WATFORD zero]

For some yes. For me no.

I have lots of lovely nieces and nephews. I don't feel the need to have my own child.

At the moment I get up when I want. Go out when I want. Go abroad at least once a month. (I have 3 separate Ibiza trips this summer). Go out for a nice meal at least once a week. Watch footy whenever I want. Lie ins..... I love lie ins.

When I look at all the miserable blokes at work who haven't slept for months. Wife doesn't have sex with them anymore. Wife has let herself go , man has let himself go.......Or the level of pure unadulterated excitement when they get let out for work drinks or the holy grail a trip abroad with work, I know I'm not missing out......

That was why I left it late to have kids (36 & 38). I had my teenage years, my twenties and most of my thirties going out having a great time, spending silly money doing stupid things but was financially stable by then with a nice house and a reasonable mortgage which meant we could still go out to eat regularly, go on holidays etc, but with my kids.

I was actually known at work as 'the Olympic Flame' by that time as I never went out with the people I worked with, I would rather go home and go out/away with the family than hang around a load of pissed youngsters (or worse). And besides Ibiza had turned to shit by the late 90's, full of complete tossers, so we only ever took the kids there a couple of times after that.

But the lie-ins go, you're right about that

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Not sure about the selfish point? Selfish for what reason? Surely it's better to make yourself happy and be happy. Also , the country and world is overpopulated.... Global warming is hitting , decent jobs are diminishing, it's not a great time to bring a child into the world.

I'm in my 40s and wake up happy pretty much every day. The thing that stresses me out the most is probably Brighton and hove Albion !!

That's LITERALLY selfish. As in *reaches for dictionary* 'appealing to self-interest'. And that's fine. Being selfish doesn't always have to have the negative connotations that people think it does. Putting yourself first sometimes is a good thing.

Also, imagine a life where the thing that stresses you out the most is a facking football team!

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

My son greeted me this morning with his bum in the air and asked if he'd wiped properly.

I wouldn't mind, but he's 17

 

[DJ NOBO]

We have no children and are now an older couple both facing health issues. I have often felt that we missed out on something. One should not look at it selfishly but it would be great to have an able bodied son who would come around and help out with things .
A friend from my single days who now had a child told me that parenthood was 90% stress and 10 %joy but the 10% more than made up for the 90%.

 

[DJ NOBO]

Not sure about the selfish point? Selfish for what reason? Surely it's better to make yourself happy and be happy. Also , the country and world is overpopulated.... Global warming is hitting , decent jobs are diminishing, it's not a great time to bring a child into the world.

I'm in my 40s and wake up happy pretty much every day. The thing that stresses me out the most is probably Brighton and hove Albion !!

Selfish in its purest form - as in living for oneself. nothing wrong with that. Eight years of it was enough for me though.

As for world crises - rather than adding to the problem, maybe a Dwayne Jr could be part of the solution?

We may never know

 

[stewart12]

Having children is life changing, but in a good way. Only do if it you're 100% sure about the person you're with and 100% sure you can handle it.

Amen to the bit about doing it alongside the right person. The other parent is going to be in your life for most of your life. Not just the first 18 years because stuff will come up when the child is an adult as well- financial assistance, weddings, grand parenting, where they go for Christmas etc. if you don't get on with that person it'll be a nightmare. My mum and dad were together for a very short time and can't stand each other. I'm now 38 and that has never changed and it makes all the above an extra hassle

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

My son got married last week.

One of the best days of my life.

Yes, there's pain, sorrow and sad times - but far outweighed by the joy, love and happy times they bring.

Wouldn't change a thing.

 

[Rodney Thomas]

It's both incredibly hard, and incredibly joyful.

It has it's challenges. Every aspect of your life will change. You will have a lot less money, a lot less time and a lot more worry. Your house will never be tidy, you will have to make huge sacrifices and give up things you enjoy.. I've encountered all these things, and still wouldn't change a thing.

I don't know where I'd be without my little ones. Genuinely the reason I get out of bed every day. My two girls are 7 and 8 now, and they worship me. We go on walks (adventures) and I read to them all the time. I think I enjoy it more than they do.

Little things like going to the shop to buy milk is so much more enjoyable when they're with me. They bring magic to the most mundane things. They're perfect.

It's down to the individual, of course. The above is just my experience.

This is probably the perfect description for me.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

You have to distinguish between different things as a parent. Is it an enjoyable - especially the first half dozen years - activity? Not really. Is it rewarding? Incredibly so and the more you put in, the more rewarded you get.

It's a lot like supporting bhafc. Most of it isn't cup wins or European tours. It can be a grind where you are happy to avoid relegation or even finish 91st in the league. It makes the better times better even if you never get a trophy. Also, God help you if you don't get on with the manager.....

 

[Jackthelad]

It’s mature to have that discussion on if you want kids before you have kids! Most don’t have the discussion. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to have kids but putting it off for when you’re ready can also be a mistake as relationships break down and women are on biological clock and as I’ve said is anyone ever really ready. If you’re a good parent your whole life will be your kids some don’t want that life. I have a friend who is happy with his dog and wife but even with his dog he can’t just travel everywhere. Freedom to do what you like when you like also can be boring because naturally we like challenges as much as they stress us out.

 

[Nobby Cybergoat]

It’s mature to have that discussion on if you want kids before you have kids!

Well it is.

Not sure i'd choose NSC as the place to do it