[Misc] Older Dads

[Sorrel]

Above is the data for father's age in 2021 (though it may include data from earlier than that). The most common age is from 30 to 34. But both ages each side are also fairly common. There is a big drop-off after 45, so I would say that someone over 44 is an "older father".

When I had my children (a while ago now) I was in my early 30s and so were most people we met with young kids. Things have skewed a little older since then.

 

[cheesy77]

I too don't think 40 is particularly old. I'd just turned 29 when I had my first, and my partner was 27, but we were far and away the youngest in our NCT group.

Majority were having their first child in their mid to late 30s, one couple were both 40

 

[attila]

POPPY'S POEM

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

My father Bill, born in Victorian England:
The sixth of January, 1899.
His stock, loyal London. Proletarian doff-cap.
Aged just eighteen, he went to join the line.

Not in a war to end all wars forever
But in a ghastly slaughter at the Somme -
A pointless feud, a royal family squabble
Fought by their proxy poor with gun and bomb.

My father saved. Pyrexia, unknown origin.
Front line battalion: he lay sick in bed.
His comrades formed their line, then came the whistle
And then the news that every one was dead.

In later life a polished comic poet
No words to us expressed that awful fear
Although we knew such things were not forgotten.
He dreamed Sassoon: he wrote Belloc and Lear.

When I was ten he died, but I remember,
Although just once, he’d hinted at the truth.
He put down Henry King and Jabberwocky
And read me Owen’s ‘Anthem For Doomed Youth’.

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

2014

 

[Curryisgreat]

POPPY'S POEM

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

My father Bill, born in Victorian England:
The sixth of January, 1899.
His stock, loyal London. Proletarian doff-cap.
Aged just eighteen, he went to join the line.

Not in a war to end all wars forever
But in a ghastly slaughter at the Somme -
A pointless feud, a royal family squabble
Fought by their proxy poor with gun and bomb.

My father saved. Pyrexia, unknown origin.
Front line battalion: he lay sick in bed.
His comrades formed their line, then came the whistle
And then the news that every one was dead.

In later life a polished comic poet
No words to us expressed that awful fear
Although we knew such things were not forgotten.
He dreamed Sassoon: he wrote Belloc and Lear.

When I was ten he died, but I remember,
Although just once, he’d hinted at the truth.
He put down Henry King and Jabberwocky
And read me Owen’s ‘Anthem For Doomed Youth’.

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

2014

That is very touching, and beautifully worded.

 

[Albion in the north]

Ive two kids. 18 years between them. I always say that I had more patience but less stamina with the 2nd.

 

[Sirnormangall]

Had my first daughter at 26 and second at 43. Can honestly say that being older, I was (and still am) there for my youngest much more than I was for my oldest. Yes now I'm 60 and she's nearly 17 I don't have the energy I had, but I am much more mature and spend a lot more 'quality' time with my youngest than I did with my eldest. Like going to watch Brighton game.

That’s similar to me. Age gap of 20 years between my eldest ( from first marriage) and youngest. My eldest will “benefit” from having a longer relationship with her Dad than the youngest. The younger kids have benefited from being born into a more stable family ( financially and emotionally) and if they listen they might benefit from my wise words ( if I can think of any).

 

[BevBHA]

Interesting thread this.

I’m 36 and have an 18 month but really interested, and to be honest surprised, that I feel relatively young/middle on the nursery pick up/drop off.
In our baby journey group from 7 couples there were also 4 older than me.
Not sure if it’s the town/area I live or whether the average age of parents has gone up in general, perhaps a bit of both.

Honestly. I’m 26 and have an almost 2 year old, I’m the youngest parent at pick up time by a country mile.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

POPPY'S POEM

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

My father Bill, born in Victorian England:
The sixth of January, 1899.
His stock, loyal London. Proletarian doff-cap.
Aged just eighteen, he went to join the line.

Not in a war to end all wars forever
But in a ghastly slaughter at the Somme -
A pointless feud, a royal family squabble
Fought by their proxy poor with gun and bomb.

My father saved. Pyrexia, unknown origin.
Front line battalion: he lay sick in bed.
His comrades formed their line, then came the whistle
And then the news that every one was dead.

In later life a polished comic poet
No words to us expressed that awful fear
Although we knew such things were not forgotten.
He dreamed Sassoon: he wrote Belloc and Lear.

When I was ten he died, but I remember,
Although just once, he’d hinted at the truth.
He put down Henry King and Jabberwocky
And read me Owen’s ‘Anthem For Doomed Youth’.

‘What passing-bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.’
And so some lines to spike centenary prattle:
These words a sole survivor soldier’s son’s.

2014

Superb.
All the best, as always.

 

[tstanbur]

My kids are 4 and 7. I'd say the majority of the dads in their respective classes are in their mid-40s, so you certainly wouldn't really stand out.

Agreed. My kids are 4 and 7 too. I’m 45 and it seems like a lot of the other school friend parents are around in the same age bracket.

 

[B-right-on]

That’s similar to me. Age gap of 20 years between my eldest ( from first marriage) and youngest. My eldest will “benefit” from having a longer relationship with her Dad than the youngest. The younger kids have benefited from being born into a more stable family ( financially and emotionally) and if they listen they might benefit from my wise words ( if I can think of any).

Exactly the same, good point as I hadn't thought about that. My first marriage lasted 3 years after my eldest daughter was born and lived with me (my ex didn't want her - she's French) and the current Mrs B and I have been married 28 years so far.

 

[Justice]

Honestly. I’m 26 and have an almost 2 year old, I’m the youngest parent at pick up time by a country mile.

You do see far less pram faces around now as say 20-30 years ago. When I used to pick up my kids from school it was like a youth club

 

[The Grockle]

I've had a very busy run up to Christmas but have managed to spend some time reading through this thread. Blown away by the responses, I thought there would be handful of opinions and experiences shared.

This forum really is an incredible place. Merry Christmas all

 

[BN41Albion]

I've had a very busy run up to Christmas but have managed to spend some time reading through this thread. Blown away by the responses, I thought there would be handful of opinions and experiences shared.

This forum really is an incredible place. Merry Christmas all

Not often I sit and read through a whole thread with such keen interest. Not one derailment and a very absorbing read - especially the thoughts of others on worries (or not) about the world our kids are growing up in.

I hope the thread has put your mind at rest! Merry Christmas

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

So did you call her Mandy rin?

Maybe it was a boy, Zac Zuma?

 

[Greg Bobkin]

While queuing in the PO yesterday, I caught sight of a customer's copy of The Sun, with the headline along the lines of 'ANT TO BECOME A DAD AT 48' (assuming it was Dec's mate, Ant). The first thing I thought - mainly because of this thread - was 'well, *that's* not very old!'

 

[OzMike]

I first became a dad at 32, after getting married at 31.
I did a lot of things before settling down.

 

[sydney]

Found out quite recently that I am expecting my second child, all going well he/she will arrive a few months after my 41st birthday.

Genuinely didn't think i'd have the chance again at 40 and am over the moon but naturally a bit worried about being the older Dad in the playground. My Dad was 45 when he had me and it definitely bothered him more than it did me!

Any other 'older' Dad's out there have any tips or experiences?

congratulations mate , you've done it before so you know what you're in for , make the most of it , as we all know they grow up so fast ,before you know it you're giving them driving lessons and locking the drinks cabinet , all the best mate.

 

[BiffyBoy100]

Any tips for a younger dad?

 

[MJsGhost]

39 and 42 when I had mine. Oldest is 4 now and never really think about my age when meeting other parents at nursery etc.

I do sometimes wonder what it’ll be like being 60 with an 18 year old, but maybe I just have the wrong idea about what it’s like to be 60.

This.

Mine are nearly 3 yrs old and 7 months old. I'll be 46 this summer.

I do often wonder if some things would be easier if I was younger (coping with the lack of sleep for example as #2 is a terrible sleeper), but undoubtedly some things would be harder too.

The main things that worry me are future problems - having teenagers in my 60s and also a huge sadness that I will most likely be very old (or dead) by the time grandkids arrive.

I have not encountered any negative reactions to my age as a parent if young kids. One of the other NCT dads for my first was 57 having his first and he's doing just fine too.

The funny thing is, I remember thinking about all this when I was about 10. I decided it would be best to have a kid at 20 so I'd only be 30 and able to play football with my 10 year old son (didn't cross my mind I might have a daughter )

 

[DJ NOBO]

This.

Mine are nearly 3 yrs old and 7 months old. I'll be 46 this summer.

I do often wonder if some things would be easier if I was younger (coping with the lack of sleep for example as #2 is a terrible sleeper), but undoubtedly some things would be harder too.

The main things that worry me are future problems - having teenagers in my 60s and also a huge sadness that I will most likely be very old (or dead) by the time grandkids arrive.

I have not encountered any negative reactions to my age as a parent if young kids. One of the other NCT dads for my first was 57 having his first and he's doing just fine too.

The funny thing is, I remember thinking about all this when I was about 10. I decided it would be best to have a kid at 20 so I'd only be 30 and able to play football with my 10 year old son (didn't cross my mind I might have a daughter )

You’re not alone. Mine were born when I was 42 and 45. Youngest is 3 now. From my experience Id say you are in the hardest period, particularly if you’re a bit older. Before you know it you’ll start getting a bit of life back - like they will start sleeping through, then you’ll be able to leave youngest alone for a few minutes, then lose the stair gates, then start working towards no more nappies. You’ve also lucked out on child care funding which will help.

I found not drinking also helped, doing lots of steps by taking him out in the pram all the time, joining a dads group.

Yeah, the whole them turning 18 when you’re 63 thing is sad. It’s the price though isnt it. I hope you feel you fully lived your life for you in your 30s.

i have found the toughest aspect is needing to care for my elderly parents rather than them being in a position to help.My sister got in their first and drained them of all their child-minding energy and now their health is failing. So a tip to all would-be parents - get in there before your siblings!